The Indian Institute of Planning and Management, or IIPM, has announced the inauguration of it's latest campus in Osaka, Japan. This newest addition to IIPM's long list of campuses worldwide will consist of a state of the art answering machine, which will field calls from prospective IIPM applicants and redirect them back to their campus in New Delhi, India.
Arindam Choudhry, the dean of IIPM, issued a press release detailing the management institute's high-profile expansion into Japan. "This is the latest feather in IIPM's cap. We will now be able to offer a number of courses by voicemail, wherein students would be able to dial into our new campus in Japan and receive voicemail instructions in Japanese, regarding the textbooks they would need to purchase back in India. It is a novel approach, encompassing all the latest technologies currently available in message answering."
In related news, IIPM has commenced it's job placement process for the current academic year. Arindam Choudhry, on being asked for a comment, replied, "We have submitted an ultimatum to IBM that unless they hire new IIPM graduates by tomorrow, we will begin immolating our students on campus." On being asked whether IBM was the only company to be involved in the placement program, Choudhry replied, "Of course not, we have students threatening to self-flagellate on the Wipro campus, self-mutilate outside the Infosys building and self-fellate at the TCS office. We have an extremely diverse and successful placement program."
Mr Choudhry expressed optimism about a greater number of IIPM graduates being hired by IBM this year. "We know that they currently have at least one vacant job position . It was previously occupied by an IIM graduate, so in terms of knowledge equivalence, the same position would require a hundred IIPM graduates."
In other news, IIPM has announced the addition of an authentic imaginary Finnish sauna to it's New Delhi campus, which will complement the already existing fictional swimming pool.
Update : IIPM fine print division served legal notice by IIPM large print division
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